5.10.10

Pass-er-by

pas·ser·by, ~A person who passes by, especially casually or by chance.

PASSERBY..
Napadaan.


Ganyan ka. Parang Isang ale o mama na napadaan. Napadaan sa harap ng bintana ng bahay namin. Walang intensyon na tumigil ng matagalan. Walang intensyong na mabuhay sa lugar na aking ginagalawan ng matagalan. Parang lamok sa stagnant water. Parang bubuyog sa pukyutan. Hindi permanenteng nakatengga, hindi permanenteng makikisalamuha. Parang langgam na nakapilang masinop na naghahakot ng asukal mula sa aming jar.

Parang ikaw.

Parang ikaw na nag-take ng alternate route at aking nakabanggaan. Nagkakilanlan,naglandian . Pero hindi niloob ni Papa God na magkatuluyan.




Dahil...

ikaw ay isa lamang PASSERBY :)

30.9.10

"Yung" dati

Naalala ko bigla yung isang phrase na lagi kong sinasabi pag may nakakalimutan ako na gusto kong maalala. Lagi kong sinasabing "Yung dati".

"Naaalala mo ba yung pinag-uusapan natin - yung tungkol sa ano, oo yun ngang ano, "yung dati".

"Nakita mo ba yung kaklase natin dati? Oo nga, kita mo naman, ngayon parang ang tindi ng pinagdaanan nyang transformation - pati bf nya hindi kagaya "yung dati".

*buntung-hininga*

Isipin mo nga naman, sa kagaya kong madaming iniisip (na hindi naman dapat iniisip) ,
napakadaming bagay na basta-basta na lang dumadaan na hindi ko namamalayan. Kadalasan, nalalaman ko na lang pag nagpaalam na, o kaya naman eh pag may naghahanap.

Sa mga panahon na nanahimik tong pahina ko, nabuhay ako sa kasalukuyan. Masaya, malungkot, nakakatawa, nakakaiyak ang mga pangyayari. May pikunan, may mga tawanan at iyakan, may kantyawan, alaskahan, patalinuhan, senti-han - at madami pang iba. Ang sayang mabuhay sa kasalukuyan, maging saksi sa mga bagay na nagaganap. Maging tulay ng alaala ng ibang tao.

Pero ngayon....gusto ko na lang balikan...."YUNG DATI"

29.9.10

Beesy

*Walang substance tong post na tohhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

Minsan pinangarap kong maging busy. At hindi ako nakuntento, ipinagdasal ko pa yun. Wish granted naman ako. Dumating ang panahon na halos idlip na lang ang naitutulog ko sa kadahilanang tinawag ang inyong lingkod sa serbisyo publiko. Pero, akala ko pag busy na ko, makakalimutan ko nang magdemand.

Mali pala ko.

Dahil, mas naging demanding ako nung naging busy ako. Mas naghanap ako ng oras, ng panahon, ng tawag, ng text, at ng kung anu-anong kabulastugan - mula sa inyong lingkod
(nararamdaman ko kung sinukaman na nagbabasa ng blog ko na dahan-dahan mo nang tinatapat yung mouse pointer mo sa "x" button..hahahah)

*Pasensya na sa makakabasa nito, medjo wala lang sa mood :))

28.9.10

you and Me

I thought everything is over
Indeed I've closed the door and hover
I thought its ok forever
But now, things took its turn around the corner.

I was so happy receiving the attention that you are giving to me
I was so relieved, knowing that someone like you cares for me.
I was so happy to spend time with you
I was lucky ----- to somehow have you.

Yet, I have dreamed of having you in my life
I have dreamed of you being mine.
I have dreamed of you calling me yours.
But now, I know......

You and Me - just won't happen at all.....

26.9.10

Kamusta ka?

Kamusta ka?

Ako, ok lang. Eto, ayus na ayus pa din kahit parang hindi. Na-empacho na ko sa kape-kape-kape. Minsan winiwish ko na sana kasing mahal ng kape dito ang kape sa Pilipinas (magkasing presyo lang pala, pero parang barya lang kung dito mo sya bibilhin, magbasa ka ng dyaryo kung bakit), para hindi na ko maengganyong mag-kape. Kaya lang, anjan sya palagi para tuksuhin ako. Ayan tuloy, parang napakatensyonableng tao ko na.

Pasensya ka na, hindi na kita naaasikaso. Pero maniwala ka, marami pa din akong plano para sayo. Kagaya ng pagme make over sayo, paga-update sayo araw-araw (kagaya ng dati) at ang pag-babantay sayo bawat minuto ng bawat araw. Kaya lang sa ngayon, mangangako muna ako. Abala pa kase ako sa buhay buhay ko. Abala pa ko sa pakikielam sa buhay ng ibang tao ^^, Pagbabasa at panunuod ng kung anu-ano, at inaasikaso ko din ang pers lab ko ♥♥♥ ang pag-awit.

O sige, hindi na muna kita gagambalain. Hayaan mo't darating din ang araw na babalik at magpofocus akong muli sayo. Pero sa ngayon, iiwan muna kita ng pansamantala...

Hanggang sa muli,
Jen

8.8.10

HOW TO LOSE YOUR GF in ten ways


1.
Wag sagutin ang tawag ni babae pag may tampuhan kayo. Tama lang yan, tatampo-tampo sya, tapos tatawagan ka? weird diba? :)) Let her suffer, bukas makalawa, susuyuin ka din nyan. *Sabay upo sa sofa at nagbasa ng comics*

2. Kalimutan ang mahahalagang numero sa kalendaryo. Dati-rati, fanatic ka ng monthsary nyo, naghihintay ka pa ng 12am para bumati sa kanya. Kung anu-anong kemedu pa yung ginagawa mo para lang magpa-pogi points. Pero nakakasawa diba? Kaya go, wag na lang...matulog ka na lang. waste of time lang ^^,

3. Wag masyadong makipag-communicate . Kung mahal ka nya talaga, kahit hindi mo sya kausapin ng maayos ng ten years, (or more) - mahal ka pa din nya. Basta wag mo lang kakalimutan ang magic line na "pasensya ka na kung wala akong time sayo..".*Insert here the never-ending dahilan-essssss* . Wag din kalimutang magparamdam ng awa twing sasabihin ito sa kanya.

4.
Makipagkita lang kapag kinakailangan. Be practical. Panahon ng crisis ngayon, at hindi na uso ang date. Hindi naman nagbabago ang ichura ng tao sa loob ng ilang linggo lang. Kaya wag masyadong fanatic ng GF nyo, bigyan mo ng time ang sarili mo para magrelax, walang nagging, walang kaartehan, at walang kung anu-anong kadramahan na hatid ng babae. ^^,

5. Matulog ng maaga. Be health conscious, wag isacrifice ang sarili mong kalusugan ng dahil lang sa pag-aantay ng ten years para makausap si babae. Gagawa naman yan ng paraan para makausap ka pag hindi ka nya mahagilap sa kung anumang communication na meron kayo eh. Kaya chill, hayaan mo sya. Titigil din yan sa paghahanap sayo, lalu na pag tulog ka na. :)

6. Pag kasama mo sya, maging aware sa nangyayari sa paligid. Wag hayaang i-overcome ni babae ang time na allotted sa kanya. Pag na-set mo na kung gaano kahaba lang ang oras na ilalagi mo na kasama mo sya, wag kang tanga at magdagdag pa ng kahit na konting minuto o segundo. TIME is gold - di lang dapat sa kanya mauubos yun.

7. Maging busy . Trabahuin ang lahat ng pwedeng trabahuin. Ubusin mo yung 24 hours mo sa trabaho. Pag tinawagan ka nya, sabihin mong BUSY ka kaya hindi mo nasagot nung tumatawag sya earlier. Sagutin ng mga walang kwentang sagot para magsawa syang makipagkwentuhan sayo. Anyways, may goal ka diba? FOCUS ka lang dapat dun.

8. Maging boring kausap. *Insert one liner replies sa mga tanong ni babae* Kapag pakiramdam mong pinapatamaan ka nya sa mga statement nya, magmaang-maangan na natanggap mo yung reply nya. Pag personal mo syang kausap, magkunwaring walang narinig at magkunwaring hindi mo sya kasama. ^^,

9. Humingi ng isang libong SORRY. Maniwala ka, effective na pang-turn off sa babae yan.


10. Gawin ang lahat ng pointer sa itaas ng sunud-sunod na araw. Malas mo lang pag ayaw ka nya talaga pakawalan. Kase kahit anung gawin mo, iintindihin ka pa din nya...Hahahaha....



27.6.10

My heart wants to...

My heart wants to write
My head wants to read
My hand wants to draw
My spirit wants to sing.

Humigit-kumulang xx na din ang drafts ko. At natawa ko nung binuksan ko ng isa isa ang bawat isang draft na nagawa ko. Hmmm walang kwenta lahat. (sabagay, kelan ba naman ako nag-isip ng may sense..^^,) ang dami kong drafts, pero nang balikan ko, wala na kong maidugtong!!!! What is thisssssss!!!!! :XD

Sabi ko nung isang araw, susulat ako tungkol sa lablablablablablablab. May nasulat ako, kaya lang...masyadong idealistic, hindi papasa sa panlasa ng mga tao sa paligid-ligid. Sabi ko nung isang linggo, susulat ako ng tungkol sa layp ~ kaya lang ako naman mismo, tinamad magkwento ng makabuluhan tungkol dun. Tumanaw ako sa east at nakakita ng inspirasyon. Hmmm...nasobrahan ako ng pagtanaw...at ayun, nakatulog ako :)

At napagtanto ko, madami akong gustong gawin, madami akong gustong pag-usapan, madami akong.....MADAMI..., pero ang oras ko ay kakaunti.

---Kaya update lang muna mga teh...^^,

25.4.10

To My Soon to be FOREVER


Dear Mr. Right-for-me,

I hope that upon reading this mail of mine ~ I'm still single and unattached to anyone else. I long to meet you and exchange stories with you. I've been looking forward for "the day" to come. For quite some time, I've been thinking of things about you.

How will I meet you? If I'll meet you, how will I speak with you? Will I instantly know that you're the one for me? Or will it take ages before it came to my senses?

Are we going to be friends first before we will fall for each other? Or will it be a "Instant" attraction?

Are you far from me? Or are you just sitting just across the corner of this room? Staring at me and thinking if I will, someday, look your way?

When are you going to come my way? Are you going to be delivered right at my doorstep? Will I bump to you while I'm walking on the street? Or I have known you all along?

Please don't make things worse for me, Mr. Right-for-me. Save me from this misery, save me from the emptiness, and the loneliness that I am feeling right now.


Waiting for you,

The Damsel In Distress





*Random thoughts I've written during the SFC Retreat (SW1)*

5.4.10

Pag-alis


You came along, unexpectedly
I was doing fine in my little world
Baby please don't get me wrong
Coz i'm not complaining
But you see, you got my mind spinning.....

Why can't it be,
Why can't it be the two of us
Why can't we be lovers, only FRIENDS
you came along at the WRONG place at the WRONG TIME.
Or was it me...(-_-)



Isang araw, may makikilala tayong babago sa buhay natin. Babago ng mga pananaw mo sa buhay, aalisin ang mga lungkot sa buhay mo, ilalapit ka sa mga bagay na matagal mo nang gustong gawin, ipapakilala sayo ang tunay na kulay ng buhay - makulay na parang sinabawang gulay. :P Eh ooopsssss *spoiler*

Paano kung dumating sya ng hindi mo inaasahan? Pag dumating sya ng meron nang taong kasalukuyang bumabago sa ikot ng buhay mo?


...mga late comer nga naman. Tsktsk. Problema kase, pwede naman magtaxi, nag-bike pa, ayan tuloy. Pwede namang sabihin - pero, dinadaan pa sa mga kung anu-anong pasakalye. Nakakainis, nakakabitin, tipong nauuhaw ka at iinumin mo na lang yung tubig, may mabibilaukan pa tapos kailangan mong ibigay yun sa iba.

*bitter*

At syempre, dadating at dadating sa punto na kailangan mong magdesisyon, TO BE or Not TO BE. In my case, Not to BE.

Khalas, finished na Baba. Napapagod na kong makipag-taguang pong at makipaglaro ng patintero sayo. I'll rest my case, baka nga gutom lang toh, baka nga banlag ka lang, baka nga magaling ka lang magpalipad- hangin. And worst, ako pa yung na-pollute ng hangin na inilabas mo.

So long and gudnight....(-_-)

20.3.10

22days | 528 hours | 31,680 seconds

I've been counting the days
since I've last seen your face.
I've been hoping and praying,
wishing - one day you'll come back.

As emptiness set in
And as the tears fell down
I wish that you were here
to hug me tight and wipe my tears out.

16.3.10

LDR

"So near, yet so far....."



May tanong ako sayo.
Kaya mo bang magmahal ng taong bihira mo lang makita? Ng taong hindi mo pa nakikita? O ng taong hindi mo nakikita *scary*

Ayon sa SWS serbey, mga 20% lang ang tumatagal na Long Distance Relationship. Sabi ng nanay at tatay ko ~ Bagay saken yung ganitong istilo ng relasyon dahil:

  • Bihira mo nakikita, hindi mo aawayin. (Aawayin mo pa ba yung tao, kung hindi mo nga nakikita?)
  • Mas magiging matured ka sa mga bagay bagay. Kase matututo kang magtiwala, manalig kay BF/GF. (Manalig talaga ang word! amf!)
  • Matututo kang mang-uto, este maging sweet sa isip, sa salita, at sa gawa.!
  • Maiiwasan ang pagiging matampuhin. (Paano ka nga naman magtatampo kung hindi mo nakikita yung pagtatampuhan mo?)
  • Magiging mapagbigay ako.....sa ORAS. Time management ika nga nila.
Tawagan sa telepono (yung iba nga wala pang tawag *ninja*), Text-text (ilabyu, yulabme,welabichader drama churchur...amishu umissmetoo), Chat chat (salamat sa emoticon at naeexpress namin ang aming supressed feelings!) At kung anu-ano pang kakesohan na pwedeng likhain ng bagong teknolohiya, kasama yang pinaniniwalaan nyong FEELINGS ang panghahawakan nyo para maging matatag ang inyong relationship.

Pero, kaya mo nga ba?

Hmmmmm....

6.3.10

Amag


Ahmmm bakit nga ba amag? Ah eh ewan ko lang. Pwede ko naman lagyan ng taytel na ALIKABOK o kaya naman ANAY, o kaya naman eh sapot. *thinking*

Inisip mo na ba minsan pano kung sa past life mo eh isa kang AMAG in english, YEAST. Kruwel din kaya ang buhay mo? Pano ka makakapag-emote kung isa kang AMAG? Hmmmm pano ka maiinlab kung isa kang AMAG? Paano at paano ka mabubuhay ng NORMAL kung isa kang AMAG? Tsktsk....(Walang pinupuntahan ang mga sinasabi ko tungkol sa AMAG).

Ihalintulad natin sa tinapay na tinubuan ng AMAG. Ang tinapay, pag bagong luto, pinag-aagawan ng mga konsyumer (Talking about economics ako ngayon :P). Ang tinapay pag popular, mabili, ika nga nila eh BEST-SELLER. Pero pano kung ang tinapay na tinda eh biglaan mong makitaan ng AMAG? Bibilhin mo pa ba? Papansinin mo pa ba? Kakainin mo pa ba?

Parang sa tao lang. Pag nakita nating hindi kaaya-aya ang ichura. (Umamin ka dahil madaming mga taong ganito, pwedeng ako, pwedeng IKAW, oo ikaw nga, pwedeng sila, pwedeng tayo). Pag hindi gaanong pumapasa sa ating standards ang pag-uugali, DEADMA na tayo. Kibit-balikat mo syang tatalikuran at nebah ebah mo nang papansinin. Hmm may times na papansinin mo, pero kaswal lang. Kumbaga sa iskul, papansinin mo lang sya pag hihingi ka ng papel (Sila kase yung madalas ready sa mga skul supplies na kailangan sa skul). Papansinin mo lang pag hinihingi ng pagkakataon, pag kailangan mo ang tulong nya, aminin mo man o hindi, likas na MATALINO at GIFTED ang mga kagaya nila. *headspin*

Bagay na hindi makatarungan....

...At hindi ko nabigyan ng justice ang topic kong AMAG...*tears*

28.1.10

My Workstation

Sa kadahilanang masyado akong authistic, ay nabuo ang ideya ng pagtatag nitong bagay na ito mula sa pahina ni Pareng CM. Nabigla na lang ako ng bigla nyang ianunsyo sa aking SM shoutmix na ako eh naka-tag na sa bagay na ito. As much as possible, ayuko sanang ipakita ang lamesa ko, kase baka icompare nyo sa lamesa ni Pong eh anung laban ko dun, wala naman akong stapler na PINK. Hahahahahah....

So Welcome aboard!!!!!!!

UNANG BAHAGI (Right side of the table)
Ito ay naglalaman ng :


Telepono (na patakas na ginagamit pangtawag sa kung saan saan pag wala si boi B), may skatsteyp din sya dahil lagi ko syang naihuhulog dala ng tensyon ko sa pakikipag-usap sa kliyente...Ahmm kelan kaya papalitan yan ng kuripot kong boss? hahahahah
☺Mouse
Monitor...Ooops sipag ko nho, kita nyo kung anong inaasikaso ko sa oras ng trabaho...hahahah..
Pen holder (pero puro basura laman nyan, yung mga ginagamit kong lapis, ballpen, eraser, at highlighter eh nasa keyboard ^_^)
Courier receipt (eh nung kinuhaan ko kase eto eh kakatapos ko lang mag-asikaso ng shipment)
lab letter galing kay boss, utos nya para gumawa ng quotation, pending muna, picture picture eh ^_^
cup...oh eh malamang inuman ng nauuhaw na si ako..ahahah
puncher na puti (off limits ang PINK dito sa lamesa ko!!)
office key (para anytime na maburyo ako sa trabaho, takas mode ako...joke)

Hindi kasya ang mga kagamitan ko sa isang kuhaan lang eh...kaya dadako naman tayo sa pangalawang parte ng lamesa. Ang:

LEFT SIDE, na naglalaman ng:



Stapler na itim (uulitin ko, walang pink dito!)
Lumang kalender, kase wala pang issue ng 2010! Anuberr, February na sa isang araw! hahaha...
Company stamp- pantatak sa makukulit na invoice, PO at kung anu-ano pang chuvachenes chenelar...
☺ ang armas --CALCULATOR
☺Telex transfer receipt
☺mga outgoing quotations
☺Mga pending invoices --(ten years nang nag-aantay ng pirma! Heller, pipirma na lang tinatamad pa!)
☺ Iba't ibang uri ng stamp
Delivery note book (ewan ko kung para saan yan, Joke)
Diary (hanapin nyo sya, natakpan na ng mga papel..hahaha)..kung saan isinusulat ko ang mga bagay na madali kong makalimutan. Kagaya ng: Mga bagay na ginawa ngayong araw na toh, mga bagay na gagawin bukas, mga bagay na gagawin sa isang taon, sa isang bwan at sa isang isang isang bukas!)

Ayan, nakaraos din. At para makaganti, nais kong ibahagi ang tag na ito kay Azel, at kay Deth.

26.1.10

Lab lettur

Dear Pong,

How is you? Me is fine. And you? I'm fine thank you. Kagabi lang naisipan kong mag-request sayo ng alamuna. Pero mahina ata ang powers ko sayo kaya ayaw mong gumawa ng alamuna. Hahahah. Tseeeeeeeee...

Wag madumi ang mga utak nyo, lab letter lang yung nirerequest ko *eyeroll*

Malayo na din yung narating ng relationship natin. Sa loob ng pitong bwan. Marami nang awayan, tampuhan, basagan ng trip, mga date na hindi natuloy, mga pasyal na walang napala, pikunan pikon ka kase.hahahah, mga cake na isang linggo bago naubos, mga kwentuhang walang kwenta, mga tanung tanong na walang matinong sagot, mga chismisan, mga pustahan, mga patakas na tawag sa opisina, mga kulitan, walangyaan, mga pikchuran, mga dc-han, mga mantsarihan ^_^, mga trip trip, laftrip, fudtrip, sadtrip at marami pang ibaaaaaaaaaa....Nakakatuwa lang na kahit na ganito ako, ganyan ka pa din saken. Na walang nagbabago as the days go by...............fly by..............^_^ Na kahit na anong intriga ang umikot sa pagitan nating dalawa nung mga nakaraang araw, nanatili kang matatag at hinarap ang kontrobersiya ng walang kemedu at churvaloo. Nawa'y mas maging matatag pa ang ating bolahan sa mga darating na panahon, kahit na madalang yung mga panahon na magkasama tayo, Kahit na minsanan lang din tayo mag-usap ng seryoso.

Hanggang dito na lang muna, magpe-facebook pa ko...Nyahahahah..Me lab yu :)

Jen

23.1.10

Remote ME....

Sanay akong mamuhay ng mag-isa. Ng magdesisyon mag-isa, at gumawa ng mga bagay na nakasanayan kong gawin ng mag-isa lang. Naging kuntento ako sa mga bagay na nasa paligid ko , kahit na madaming kakulangan sa buhay ko sa mga oras na ito. Naging masaya ako sa kabila ng mga agam-agam na nakapaloob sa puso ko sa mga oras na ito. Pero pinipili kong manahimik at pikit-matang harapin ang bawat araw ng may pag-asa sa aking puso.

Hanggang sa dumating ka.

Aminado akong natatakot ako sa tuwing binibisita mo ako. Sa tuwing dumadaan ka paminsan-minsan at kumakaway sa buhay ko. Lahat ng routine ko eh binabago mo. Sabi ko nga, para kang si HITLER kung makautos saken. Porke ba uto-uto ako eh ganyan mo na ko kung ituring? Matanda na ko kung tutuusin para diktahan ng mga bagay na kailangan kong gawin sa araw-araw. Pero pinagbibigyan kita dahil alam kong masaya ka pag nakikita mong sinusunod kita. Kahit alam kong palpak at wala sa hulog ang mga bagay na idinidikta mo, pinagbibigyan kita.

Hanggang sa mapuno ako.

Pinili kong umiwas, magpalipas ng oras kapiling ng mga kaibigan ko, ng mga taong hindi ako kailanman diniktahan o pinangunahan sa mga desisyon ko. Pansamantala kong tinanggal ang baterya ng remote na hawak mo. Pagod na kong sumunod. Hayaan mo naman akong mabuhay at kumilos ng para sa sarili ko. Nakakasawa na ang mga pagtatalo natin, hayaan mo muna akong umiwas, at hanapin ang DAPAT para sa sarili ko.

19.1.10

The Best Version of you


The Best Version of You
by: Mariel G. Calalo


Manila International Airport, 2:00 am. It’s been two years since she had last seen the Manila International Airport. Not much has changed. Her last memory of this airport was when Miguel dropped her off. She was on her way to New York to pursue a career in Wall Street.

"Promise me something will you? Please don’t get married until I come back?" She jokingly told him as she lifted up her backpack.

"LOL. Very funny. Ikaw ang mag-promise. Promise me you won’t run off with some nerdy economist in the next two years."

"Let’s see, shall we. Bye, Miguel. I’ll call you as soon I get to New York."

That was her last memory in this place. The warm Manila air made her feel a bit restless and yet she feels excited. This is the first time in two years she’ll be seeing Miguel again. She was thoughtfully going through the immigration counters, thinking of how much she missed seeing Miguel. How different would he be now? Sure he sends her regular weekly e-mails and pictures but being the busy person that she had always been, she didn’t get the time to chat with him and buy a webcam.

She’s finally out. "Where is Miguel?" She wondered. "Ah there!" she exclaimed when she saw the silver gray Nissan Patrol parked near the exit. TGW926. Yup, that’s Miguel alright. Her heart was leaping ahead of her as the driver got off.

"Hey! I missed you!" He said, as he hugged her.

"I missed you too. So much." She said, as she hugged him back. It was warm. It felt good to be back. It felt great to feel his hug.

"Let me get those." He said pointing at her luggage. "Then we’ll have more time for hugging and chika."

"Okay."

Edsa, 4:30 am. Miguel’s cellphone rings. Mama, the name flashes on the screen.

"You should really get that."

"No, you should get that. She’s been waiting for you. She insists that we go straight to her after I pick you up from the airport. She also insists that you spend tomorrow with her." Miguel was talking about her mother. Miguel was an only child and his mother wanted a daughter. She would often tell Bea that since she doesn’t have a mom anymore, she should let Tita Doris be her second mom. She loved Bea as if she were her own daughter.

"Hello? Yes, Tita. How are you na po?... ah opo. Miguel already told me. Sige po. Okay po. I’ll see you later." She turns off the phone and looks out the window. The phone rings again, this time the name "Sugar" flashes on the screen. Hmmm, "Sugar." He was quick. He got a hold of the phone and answered it. "Hello. Yeah. Pauwi na. I’m with her na. Yeah. Tomorrow, I will. Promise. We’ll see you tomorrow."

We? Is that supposed to mean me and him? See Sugar? Who is Sugar, anyway? "Who was that?" she couldn’t keep herself from asking. "Sugar ha?"

"I’ll introduce her tomorrow. Uwi muna tayo sa bahay. By the way, kamusta na si Edward?"
"Edward?"

"Oo, si Edward, naalala mo yung boyfriend na iniwan mo sa New York? Anong klase ka ba namang girlfriend? Kaya hindi kita niligawan eh. Baka makalimutan mo rin ako."

"Ah si Edward. Hayun. Nasa New York." Miguel has met Edward when he came to New York to give Bea a surprise visit. He seems a nice guy. Not the geeky economist Miguel pictured Bea would end up with. He is actually a cool guy and loves Bea a lot.

"He called me up, a week ago, asking a lot of things about you. Parang may balak ata…"

"Balak na?"

"Tell me, did he propose to you? He sounded like he was going to propose to you kasi."

"Ah look, here we are at Tita Doris."

At Tita Doris’, 4:45 am. A pleasantly plump woman enters the living room. She was in her mid-fifties, a familiar warm smile and two open arms. She welcomed Bea, gave her a big hug and kissed her on the cheek. "Hay anak, kamusta ka na? Na-miss na kita. Pinakain ka ba nito si Miguel?"

"Opo, Tita." She looked around. Not much has changed in this house. She remembers spending her college days in this house. She remembers sinking into Tita Doris’ arms when her mom died. She remembers only good things about this woman. She can’t remember a time when she had been unkind to her and yes, she loves her like her own mother.

"Iha, sabihan mo nga yang si Miguel. Sabihin mo ‘wag padalos-dalos magdesisyon."

"Po?"

"Mama naman. Let Bea rest. I’ll tell her everything tomorrow." Miguel interrupted his mother before she can spill the beans.

"Ha? What was that all about?" Bea was curious.

"Bukas na lang."

"Okay. Tita, if it’s okay I’ll go rest now." She hugged her, and proceeded to climb the stairs. Miguel followed her carrying her luggage.

"Alam mo I missed this house. Uy sino ba si Sugar? Tsaka bakit parang worried nanay mo sa iyo?"

"Bukas na. Sugar is having lunch here."

"Hmmm, intriguing, pero sige. Bukas na." They were both standing as the door to the guest room. "Alam mo, it’s really good to be back in this house. I’ll see you tomorrow."

Tita Doris’ 10:00 am. She woke up, sunlight flooding her bedroom. She was able to rest. She got up, arranged the bed sheets and took a nice, cold shower. Minutes later, she was down at the garden having brunch with Tita Doris.

"Hi! Tita. Where is Miguel?"

"Sinundo si Sugar."

"Sino ba yang Sugar na yan? Nai-intriga na ako." "Iha, I’ll let Miguel tell you who Sugar is. Promise me something, though. Whatever happens you’ll always be my daughter, Bea?"

She felt scared. Why was Tita Doris suddenly serious? "Opo naman."

"Anyway, iha. I heard from Miguel your boyfriend sounded like he was going to propose a week ago. Did he propose?"

Bea looked at her hands, bare of any engagement ring. She looked at Tita Doris and smiled. Before she could answer, Miguel showed up. With him is a woman she had not seen before. She was of medium frame, shoulder length hair and looked very feminine.

"Sugar, the sister I never had, Bea. Bea, Sugar, my fiancée`." It felt as if somebody had thrown cold water on her. His what? Blood rushed to her head. She blushed. Her cheeks felt very warm. She couldn’t swallow. Her heart beating a hundred beats per minute.

"Your what?" She looked at Miguel, blushing then suddenly white as with shock. "I’m sorry, Sugar but this is quite a surprise. Miguel has never mentioned you in any of his e-mails," she said as she looked at Sugar with a confused look. She looked at Tita Doris, she looked back as if she was consoling her.

"Yeah, I got engaged. I’m keeping my promise. I’m getting married on Saturday. O di ba you’re here so in essence I’ve kept my promise."

She managed to smile faintly. She hugged Miguel and congratulated him. She even managed to tell Sugar "You got a catch here, girl. Take good care of him or else I will snatch him under your nose." It sounded as if she was just joking, turning over a very important possession to it’s next owner. In the deepest recesses of her person, she knew she meant it.

"He told me a lot of nice things about you." Sugar said, smiling at her as if they had been friends for the longest time.

"I’m sure he has."

Lunch was served. All of Bea’s favorite Filipino dishes. She and Sugar spent time chatting the afternoon away, looking at Bea’s and Miguel’s college photos and yearbooks. She found out that Sugar likes most of the things she does. They both came from the same high school. As she tried to get to know Sugar better during their afternoon chat, she realized that not only was she perfect for Miguel, she also seemed like the best gal pal Bea could find. They talked about the wedding details, the dress, the ring, the shoes, the tiara. They like almost the same places, the same styles, the same shops. She told Sugar they should do shopping marathon together. Had it been another day, she would be telling herself that this is really a great opportunity to find someone who understands her shopping needs. Except that this is not one of those days… Except that this woman, this perfect, feminine girlfriend was Miguel’s fiancée`.

Bea’s phone rings. The name Boyfriend flashes.

"You should really get that" Sugar told Bea.

"Yeah, I guess I should. Hello? Yes? I’m good. I’m here at Miguel’s. Oh I have in front of me Sugar, Miguel’s fiancée`." The words almost got stuck in her throat, but she still managed to give Sugar a smile. "Listen, I’ll call you later. I have very good news for you."

Miguel sat down beside Bea. Sugar was looking at them and asked "So tell me? Was there never a time the two of you were more than Platonic?" Bea and Miguel looked at each other then looked at their own hands. Miguel’s gaze turned to Sugar. He answered "Of course not. Bea and I were never like that."

"As in?" Sugar inquired.

"LOL, oo naman. She was a handful. Too much to handle for me. I can’t keep up with her. She’s never stands still." Miguel looked at Bea and smiled, his eyes turning into slits as his dimples gloriously show.

"I guess that’s the way for you. But not for Edward." Bea replied, with a little hint of disappointment.

"Okay lang yun. Edward is tough enough." Miguel was still smiling.

"Wait, speaking of Edward. I need to call him."

Bea left the garden and went up to her room to call Edward. "Hello? Edward. Here goes. Yes. The answer is Yes.
The wedding went well. It was one of the most elegant weddings she had seen. Sugar had everything covered and she was a very beautiful, blushing bride.

"I, Miguel, take you, Sugar, as my friend and love, beside me and apart from me, in laughter and in tears, in conflict and tranquility, asking that you be no other than yourself, love what I know of you, trusting what I do not know yet, in all the ways that life may find us."

Bea felt a stab of pain hitting her heart. She slowly got up, walked away from the spectators. Tears streaming down her flushed cheeks.

**********

Bea is once again on her way to the airport. Miguel is driving for her, this time with a wedding ring on his left finger.

"Hay, here we go again. I’m driving you to the airport. Kailan na naman kaya tao magkikita?"

"Ewan ko. Tell me something," her tone all too serious. "What was it that you love about Sugar? How did you know she was the one?" Miguel just smiled. "Dali na ano? Malay mo I need to decide in a couple of days di ba?"

"You know what I love about her? The same things I loved about you before. The only difference is that she’s not as ambitious as you are. When you left for New York two years ago, I knew I don’t have a place in the life you’ve chosen. I don’t blame you for that. You’re good in your field and I thought to myself that it’s your right to move on without me. Moving away was a decision you made for yourself. I know this sounds silly and you might nag me about it but I found the better version of you in Sugar. She’s so much like you in so many ways but the only difference is she loves me more than you do."

She wanted to cry the tears she had kept as he witnessed him say his vows, but kept her composure. She just chuckled a laugh. How could he move on without her? Why was it easy for him and not for her? As she got off the car, she gave Miguel one last hug. This time she felt her heart heavy.

"I guess this is goodbye?" she told Miguel.

"Wait, I’m not letting you out until you answer my question. Did Edward propose?"

Bea showed Miguel her left hand. In it was a one carat diamond solitaire ring set in platinum. "Yes."

Miguel let out a sigh and congratulated her. As Miguel turned his gaze from the steering wheel to Bea’s face, he saw a single tear fall from her right eye and then she said, "If it gives any consolation. Edward was the best version of you that I can find in New York."

18.1.10

Ewan lang :)

Dear Jen,

Happy New year sayo! Kamusta ka na? Matagal na din kitang hindi nakakausap. Wala ka na kasing oras para saken. Saan ka ba abala? Totoo bang abala ka? O nagpapanggap ka lang na abala? San mo ba inuubos ang oras mo ngayon? Sa facebook? Sa e-buddy? sa trabaho? Sa SFC? Kay Pong? Ang dami nang okasyon yung hindi mo naikukwento saken kung paano mo sinelebreyt. Ang dami mo na ding mga kaadikan sa buhay na hindi ibinabahagi saken.

Anyways, naapreciate ko naman kahit papano eh nililinisan mo ko ng agiw at minsan eh binibisita mo ko. Balita ko mag-aaral ka maggitara, kaya ba iniwan mo ko bigla? Eh teka, may gitara ka na ba? hahahah., parang nagdadalawang isip ka ngayon, kung gusto mo pa o hindi. Adik ka talaga. Tapos nung isang araw, gusto mo naman balikan ang pagdodrowing (ng sticks) pero failure ka dahil pasmado na ang kamay mo at hindi na makaguhit ng direcho. Tsk! Kaya ngayon babalikan mo ko? Napagod na ko maghintay sayo nho! Joke (*____*).

Sabi ko na nga ba eh, hindi mo ko matitiis, kahit na ilang bwan, araw, minuto, mo ko pabayaan, babalik at babalik ka pa din saken. Eto ba yung tinatawag nating destiny? Akala ko ba mas gusto mo yung pagkanta at pagdodrowing? bakit ngayon eh sa pagsulat ka bumabalik.

Ai ewan, nahawa na ko sa kaadikan mo at pati ako eh magulo na din kausap. heheheheh...
Sige na nga sige na. ako eh magpefacebook na lang din. I-add mo ko ah..para maging neibors tayo sa Farmville at Farmtown. Turuan mo din ako magpalit ng relationship status araw araw. ^_^ para madami din akong malinlang na tao. Hahahaha..

O sya, hanggang dito na lang, inaasahan ko na magtuloy-tuloy na ulit yung pakikipag-usap mo saken.

Ms. Adventures ^_^