Win-dang

I have loved you only in my mind. But I know that there will come a time.,You'd feel this feeling I have inside. I'm a hopeless romantic is what they say falling in and out of love just like a play. Memorizing each line I still don't know what to say........

Call me "feelingera", call me "alice in wonderland, or Wendy" for I always daydream. Call me stupid and crazy. I won't get bothered. I've been acting kinda' dumb lately. He's been acting kinda' stupid also (so what's the difference?). I don't know if its me or its him. But I can particularly say that its us. Yeah, I've been fooling myself lately, and he had been fooling me also. I've been thinking about stuffs that I know will not happen EVER in the real life. I know I've always prevented myself away from this feeling. I know I've made excessive, destructive and countless ways to ignore these feelings that is starting to get built inside my system. The only thing that I forgot to do is to put that big sign in front of my head which says:

" Don't fall in love too easily , or don't fall in love too soon"

I was thinking about these things when a friend brought me back to reality. I have seen her talking to me and telling me things. But I really don't have any idea about what she is talking about by that time. Then she asked me: "San na tayo magpupunta ngayon?". I just replied- stupidly: "Ewan ko, hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko" She just rolled her eyes and then dragged me to walk. She looked me quizzically and then began talking again : "Ang layo ng sagot mo bakla..." . I just smiled, and shook my head.

I was feeling a bit pale since this morning. I don't know if its because of my emotional problems or because of my lack of sleep these past few days. I don't know really. I even don't know what to do next or if I have to do anything about it. Yeah, I've been seeking advices about it. But I know that advices will remain as it is if I won't do anything about it.

Its now 3am here, I'd just rather go to sleep than to think about it.

Entry from my Journal: dated; March 23, 2009