Subok

Subukan mong mag-abroad, tutal naman bata ka pa, hindi ka magiging malungkot dun. Isipin mo na lang ang kinabukasan ng mga kapatid mo, nila, naming pamilya mo.

Kung tama ako ng pagkaka-alala, yan ang pahayag na nagpakumbinsi saken para mangibang-bansa....

Halos mag-iisang taon na din ang lumipas mula ng mahirapan akong kumbinsihin ang sarili kong umalis. Madami akong mga tanong noon. Natatakot akong umalis. Natatakot akong iwanan ang mga mahal ko sa buhay. Natatakot akong maiba ang takbo ng buhay ko. Oo, natatakot ako. Dahil duwag ako.

Naaalala ko pa, Marso pa lang ng taong 2008 ay pinakuha na nila ko ng passport sa DFA. Ilang araw matapos ang aking kaarawan. Malungkot ako ng mga panahon na iyon. May hang-over pa kasi ako sa pakikipaglokohan ko sa aking ekswaysey, masakit din ang kalooban ko nun, dahil na rin kailangan kong iwanan ang pag-aaral ko. Huling taon ko na nun sa kursong BS Vulcanizing. Kaya lang, para sa isang MAS magandang oportunidad, pinili kong makipagsapalaran.

Hulyo 21, 2008 ng natanggap ko ang aking visit visa at plane ticket galing sa aking tita. Wala ako sa sarili ng mga panahon na yun. Hindi ko rin sinabi sa aking mga magulang na matutuloy na ang pag-alis ko. Wala akong sinabihan ni isa dahil ayoko SANA tumuloy. Dahil na naman sa TAKOT at PANGAMBA na baka hindi naman ako swertihin sa ibang bansa. Marami akong impaktors na dinadahilan sa sarili ko.

Not all things are meant to be, but everything is worth a try

Dinikdik ko sa sistema ko yang kasabihang yan.

Hanggang ngayon namumuhay pa din ako sa kasabihang yan.

Minsan nalulungkot ako at nahihirapan.

Iniisip na sa edad kong ito, sana ay nasa tambayan lang ako at nakikipagharutan sa mga kaedaran ko.
Iniisip na sana, nasa bahay lang ako at natutulog.
Iniisip na sana nasa bahay lang ako at nakikita ang pagkukulitan ng mga kapatid ko.
Iniisip na sana, nasa bahay lang ako at naririnig ang mga tawa at halakhak ng mga kapatid ko.
Iniisip na sana,sana lang naman. Nasa pinas ako.....

Ngunit ang lahat ay hanggang sana lang......

Dahil.......













Hindi ako pinayagan magbakasyon ng amo ko sa Pinas ngayong taon na toh. Buhoooo...takte ka boss...!!!!!!

Untitled

I remember how I used to pray to Him.
"God give me the man that I deserve,
let him find me in the right time
and accept me with all that I am,
not with what I have and who he wants me to be."

People around me used to tell me:

Don't go for looks for it will just wither and dry as time goes by
better choose that someone who has beauty and kindness in his heart
someone who will still love you
when all of the people you cared for has turned their back on you.

Love that someone who will make you laugh when tears are starting to fall
Love that someone who chases away that pain in you
Love that someone who takes care of you
Love that someone who calls you, just to say "I love you".

And now that God gave him to me.
I feel definitely complete and contented.
I feel at ease and inspired
I feel loved and taken care of.

Thank you for coming into my life
Thank you for putting back the pieces of my broken heart
Thank you for being you
And more apparently,
Thank you so much....


For loving me :D

Looking back

I saw a lady
Longing for acceptance
looking for love
asking for forgiveness.

I saw a lady
full of pain, full of worries
full of hatred, full of insecurities
full of mistakes, asking for a change.

I saw a lady
full of demise
full of sorrow, full of hurt
full of uncertainties and immaturity.

As I step forward
I saw the lady
striving hard
awaiting for a miracle to happen.

And now,
as i sit here quietly
tears fell down my face
as i see myself in the mirror.

I am seeing the lady now
full of strength and maturity
full of passion and love
full of wisdom and knowledge.

I smiled as i wiped my tears
I smiled as i recall all my failures
I smiled as i think about the future
I smiled as i overcome new challenges.

I thanked God for putting me into this test
I thanked God for letting me fail
I thanked God for allowing my heart to be broken
I thanked God for putting me into dismay.

For I know in every test, I will learn something
For after the fall, i will manage to get up.
For after every heartbreak i will love again
for after the dismay, there is contentment.

As I glanced through the window
I imagined the lady in the future
Wiser, stronger, and braver
Matured, loving and full of faith...in God. :)

23 Years and still counting

June is the season for weddings. Madaming usap-usapan sa tabi-tabi, sa barber shop, sa parlor at maging sa palengke tungkol sa magagarbong kasalan ng mga magkakakasintahan. For so many years I had been a wedding singer for a couple of weddings na din. Kaya ko na nga ata sabayan ang pari at ang ikinakasal sa kanilang exchange of vows. Ilang beses ko na ding pinaiyak ang sarili ko while singing some great lovesongs for them. Ilang beses na din akong nakarelate sa kwento ng mga ikakasal. Pero I'm still young, I'm not in a rush ^^,...At hindi tungkol saken tong post na toh.

I was born a year after my parents got married. My parents' love story is really great, actually when my mum got the chance to tell me about it, nakikita ko pa din sa kanya yung saya and pagmamahal nya kay Papa - parang nagsisimula pa lang ulit sila. (gaya nga ng sabi ni Prof Pajay kay B1 --hi-skul syndrome, haha).

Long time friends si papa and mama. Bestfriend ni papa yung isang tito ko. Kaya sila naging magkaibigan ni mama. Being the youngest daughter, ipinagkasundo si mama sa isang family friend nila. (May lahi kasi silang wanport na chinese that's why medyo naniniwala ang family nya sa arranged marriage). My dad's parents doesn't like my mum. And they want somebody else for my dad. My dad all along admired my mum. She's pretty, simple and intelligent. And syempre, my mum also admired my dad by his talents, attitude and perseverance in life. My dad was in his college years by that time when they decided to ran away from their parents. My dad was a product of a broken family and he wants to build a "good and happy family" kaya when they've got the chance, nagtanan sila.

My mum by that time was 20 and my Dad was 21. (ang bata nila lumandi..nyahaha), when they got married. Hindi naging madali ang lahat sa kanila. My mum needs to work to support my dad in his studies, my dad by that time is on his last year in ECE. Kaya lang, my dad decided to stop his studies dahil nabuo ako (wahaha, sorry namern di tuloy naging engineer ang tatay ko..:D), and pinahinto nya sa pagtatrabaho si Mama.

The first few years of their married life had been full of challenges and struggles. Lalu na when they had their first baby. Este, their first cute baby. Pero i admire them for being so strong and supportive to one another. Ideal relationship ko yung sa parents ko. Hindi sila mahilig magdisplay ng affection nila for each other. Pero nakikita at nararamdaman ko how sincere and pure their love for one another is. And that love and sincerity reflects on us ng mga kapatid ko.

We may not be the perfect family, because there is no such thing as perfect. Pero keri kong ipagmayabang dito sa blog ko ang pagmamahalan nila..:)

Kaya let me greet you Papa and Mama a Happy 23rd wedding anniversary! :). May Papa God bless and give you a good health always! :D. Love you both Mama and Papa! :)

Counting my blessings

Mabilis na lumipas ang mga araw at oras nitong mga nakaraang panahon. Akalain mong mid-year na ulit!

-Malapit na ulit ang Ramadan! (shortened ang office hours ap kors! yeay!)
-Malapit na ang annual leave ko!
-Malapit na kong mag-one year sa UAE!
-Malapit na kong mag-one year sa SFC
-Malapit na ang bonggang Natcon! :D
-Malapit na ang christmas! (looking forward to spend it with B1 this time! yeay!)--ay kaya lang...:(

Well, obviously i'm looking forward to many new things in my life. I feel incredibly complete these past few days. **blush**. Kaya naman kesa magemote ako ng bongga, bago ko pa mawaglit sa utak kong malabnaw pa sa evap na gatas, haha. Nandito ang listahan ng mga blessings na nais kong ipagpasalamat kay Papa God for the year 2009.

Good health / My work / my family / B1 (for inspiring and loving me always :D)--looking forward to spend more time with you :) / Friends (UAE chaka sa pinas) / Talents and skills / Bonggang energy na nagagamit ko araw-araw kahit mailap ang pahinga / Love / Hope / Faith / Wisdom / Strength / Knowledge (na nagagamit sa paggamit ng kalkaleyter) / My aunt who's looking after me / My cousin and my cousin-in-law for supporting me (fansclub?joke) / SFC / My household sisters (pagdamutan nyo na ang mga oras na nabibigay ko sa inyo, bisi lang talaga) / Music Ministry (lalu na for making Renee' and Ferdie the head of the team) / Docu team / My sister Yanah for making her strong and healthy always / My sister Mau for keeping her safe in kish Islands (looking forward to be with her again this coming week :) / Renee' for being a sister, mother and a friend to me / Ate aileen (sa pag-ampon saken pag naiiwan ako ng household ko, lol) / Kuya Kenji, for those soothing words, and for guiding me in every decisions that I am making (parang tatay na kita kuya!hehe) / At sa madami-dami dami pang ibang mga blessings na binigay saken ni Papa God. :). I will bring back the glory to you :)

Life

Life isn’t about keeping score.
It’s not about how many friends you have
Or how accepted you are.

Not about if you have plans
this weekend or if you’re alone.
It isn’t about who you’re dating,
who you used to date,
how many people you’ve dated,
or if you haven’t been
with anyone at all

It isn’t about who you have kissed.
It’s not about sex.
It isn’t about who your family is
or how much money they have.
Or what kind of car you drive.
Or where you are sent to school.

It’s not about how beautiful
or ugly you are.
Or what clothes you wear,
what shoes you have on,
or what kind of music you listen to.

It’s not about if your hair is blonde,
red, black, or brown.
Or if your skin is too light or too dark.
Not about what grades you get,
how smart you are,
how smart everybody else thinks you are,
or how smart standardized tests say you are.

It’s not about what clubs you’re in
or how good you are at "your" sport.
It’s not about representing your whole being
on a piece of paper and seeing who will "accept"
the written you.

LIFE JUST ISN’T!

But, life is about who you love
and who you hurt.
It’s about who you make happy
or unhappy purposefully.

It’s about keeping or betraying trust.
It’s about friendship, used
as a sanctity or a weapon.
It’s about what you say and mean,
maybe hurtful, maybe heartening.

About starting rumors and
contributing to petty gossip.
It’s about what judgments you pass and why.
And who your judgments are spread to.

It’s about who you’ve ignored
with full control and intention.
It’s about jealousy, fear,
ignorance, and revenge.
It’s about carrying inner hate and love,
letting it grow, and spreading it.

But most of all, it’s about using your life
to touch or poison other people’s
hearts in such a way that could
have never occurred alone.
Only you choose the way
those hearts are affected,
and those choices are
what life’s all about.

---> Repost galing sa aking FS blog. :)

Nasaan ako kahapon?

7am ang calltime. Pero gaya ng nakasanayan ko, 7am ako gumising at nakarating sa simbahan ng 7:40am. Ayus lang. Alam kong di sila magsisimula ng kulang ang kanilang "sopraning" (ang yabang !hahaha).



At oo, maigsi na ulit ang buhok ko. Summer na kase, at naiirita ko ng suklay ober hir and there. Haha. Tignan nyo pa tong sunod para makita nyo yung mga nagmumura kong pimpols. Haha...

Yan ang mga sopranings. Pero ang orig na katandem ko eh yang naka-green. For better or for worse. Till 8th note and half note do we part kami nyan ni Jhandy. Haha. At syempre kasama namin yung malulusog na mga iba pang members. Si Sheryl at Luna (sayang Yanah wala ka dito, oks na sana). Hehe.

-------------------------------->
Ang mga group pictures! (Yung mga kapeysbuk ko, eto rin yung mga yun!heheh...)




At dahil nagpakamatay ako sa pagpapaalipin sa kanila kahapon (joke), hinayaan nila kong wag magpakita sa kanila sa byernes! Yeay! QT naman namin ni B1...:), we will invade Dubayerzzz Azel and Jee! :D

My kind of guy

Loves to joke
Can sing well
Can write good poems and stories
Has a wide knowledge of relevant things around him
Has a good sense of humor
A good disciplinarian.
A responsible person
A loving person
Very humble and generous
A person full of pride and dignity

Loves his mom despite of their many arguments
loves his sister despite their differences

loves my mom
loves my siblings
A hardworking person
A friend
A husband
and a father

I'm so proud of you Papa! May Papa God continue to bless you and guide you in your everyday work. May you continue being the person that you are right now. Looking forward to see you soon! Happy father's day! :)

Lab 101

Good things comes to those who wait....

Antayteld

Matagal ko na ring kinalimutan ang malayang buhay. Ang buhay na pwedeng makisalamuha sa ibang tao sa labas ng bakuran ng aming tahanan. Minahal ko ang mga libro at awitin sa aking MP4. Sinubaybayan ko ang mga pelikula sa telebisyon (naka-cable kame..haha). Naadik ako sa net at naadik sa kung anu-anong online games. Naadik ako sa tulog kaya ang naging epekto ay kabaligtaran ngayong panahon na "focus" ako sa aking career. Kinalimutan ko ang aking edad at inisip ang bawat isang obligasyon na natutunan ko nang tanggapin sa paglipas ng mga araw.

Kahapon naaalala ko pa kung paano ko iniyakan ang plane ticket at visa na hawak ko nang mapadala iyon ng tita ko mula dito sa Dubai. Naalala ko kung paano ko ninais na itapon at paliparin yun para lamang hindi matuloy ang aking pag-alis. Kung gaano kasakit saken na iwan ang mga mahal ko sa buhay para makipagsapalaran sa ibang bansa kung saan wala akong kakilala ni isa, at kinakailangang magsalita ng lenggwaheng nagpapadugo ng ilong ko, ang inggles.

Sa paglipas ng mga araw at buwan. Natuto akong mag-adapt sa buhay UAE. Matulog ng limang oras sa isang araw. Magpuyat ng akala mo wala nang bukas, maglasing, umiyak mag-isa at tumawa ng mag-isa (walang halong biro nagawa ko yan). Sumali sa kulto upang kahit papaano ay magkaroon ng direksyon.

Nakakilala ng madaming tao. Nalibang. Inantok. Tinamad at Nalungkot na ako ng maraming beses sa buhay OFW ko. Madami nang nagtanong saken kung gusto ko na bang magbakasyon. Ang sagot ko ay "hindi". Nakakatawa, nakakagulat alam ko.

Pero alam mo ba kung bakit ayokong magbakasyon?

Dahil natatakot akong iwan silang muli pag oras na para bumalik dito sa UAE.
Natatakot akong maulit muli ang hirap ng kalooban na pinagdaanan ko ilang araw makalipas kong dumating dito.
Natatakot akong masanay at maging masaya ulit sa piling nila.
Natatakot akong umuwi dahil baka mawala ang trabaho ko pagbalik ko.
Natatakot akong masanay sa mga bagay na bahagya ko nang winaglit sa isipan ko para hindi ako malungkot.
Natatakot akong muling bumalik upang makumpleto ang pamilyang minsang sinira ko.

At higit sa lahat...

natatakot akong maging malungkot muli.....

(HINDI ko toh entry sa PEBA!!!!nyahaha)

Grow old with yah ^^,

I wanna make you smile whenever youre sad
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad
All I wanna do is grow old with you

Ill get your medicine when your tummy aches
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks
Oh it could be so nice, growing old with you

Ill miss you
Ill kiss you
Give you my coat when you are cold

Ill need you
Ill feed you
Even let ya hold the remote control

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed if youve had too much to drink
I could be the man who grows old with you
I wanna grow old with you

12

hindi ako maganda
Hindi ako perpekto
Hindi ako matalino
lalung hindi ako talentado.

Hindi ako mabait
ako eh wanport na lukaret,
Marami akong kakulangan
Pero lahat ng yun, iyong pinunan.

Korni lang..:D Wala ehh..yan lang naiisip ko. Tsktsk. Wag na kayong pumalag. hehe.

Maybe, just maybe....

We will walk hand in hand
Tell each other those dreams that we had
Seeing clearly how time swiftly passed
Things had happened not as planned.

You've always been there for me
The many heartbreaks i had been
The many jokes that we put ourselves in
And I realized suddenly, this little feeling.

I started to picture myself with you
how good it is to talk to you
how happy i am when i am with you
how lucky i am to know you.

And then maybe,
just maybe i think....
Will it be ok if i'll tell you?
that I'm starting to fall in love with you?

Taking Chances ^^,

Nakakatawa how one falls in love then falls out of it...
It's funny rin how one would die looking for it, while one would just let it die...
It's ridiculous how each and everyone of us is very much affected by love...
And it's a wonder how everyone lives because of LOVE...

Well, here is a story...

In a dream, GOD told me, that I could pick up any man I like from His field. BUT I have to choose only one.Once na nakapili na ako, I have to raise my hand as a signal that I finally found him, then go back to GOD for praise. But NO!!! May isa pang kondisyon:

-- I could never turn back.

Once nalampasan ko, I should move on. So sabi ko, GOD surely won't give me rotten crops of men.

I have been a good daughter and I deserve to be with a good man.

I was confident I'll get the best pick.

So my journey began. As I went through the field, nakita ko ang iba't ibang klase ng lalake.

Some were tempting me to pick them up. And some were indeed tempting to pick up.

Pero sabi ko, baka may mas gwapo, mas mabait, mas responsible, mas matalino, mas masipag, mas mahal ako sa dulo ng field na ito.

So I let go. Once. Twice. Thrice. I believed fervently that in the end of the field is my prince, waiting for me with open arms.

Then I saw a man. He looked at me straight in the eye and blew a kiss.

Our gazes met and I don't know why, pero there was something in him that longed for.

I felt as if something was drawing me to him.

Pero di pwede. I have to make it to the end of the field.

Baka sabihin ni God, atat ako chaka wala akong patience.

Naisip ko..If habang lumalayo ako, nakakakita ako ng ganitong klase ng lalake,

baka as I move further eh may mas hihigit pa sa kanya.

Until, I reached the end of the field. And wala akong nakita!!! Oh Jeez.........

GOD asked me, "Di ba napakakulit mo, araw-araw na ginawa ng Diyos...( ay, ako pala yun...)

eh nagdadasal ka na magkaroon ng perfect partner in life,

bakit ngayon wala kang dala?

My crops are all fresh and good.

There is nothing there not ready and good for picking."

I answered, "I thought I would see someone at the end of the field.

Eh dyuskupo, wala na pala.. dismayado lang ako.

I thought that each step I took brought me closer to perfection

when infact, each step brought me closer to nothingness.

I remembered that man who was looking at me.

I know he's the one but I let him go,

believing na there's someone better at the end of the field. Oh, darn it!"

God said, "I'm sorry my child, but I have given you enough time to choose.

You should face reality and its consequences."

With my head bowed down I said, "I'm sorry...

Sorry I wasn't brave enough to raise my hand in the middle of the field and commit myself to someone.

I was not ready to face the challenges of life with someone I thought was of lesser value than me...I'm sorry."

Nagising akong umiiyak, saying sorry to GOD and feeling sorry for my self and my life.

Then I realized that GOD is giving me another chance to choose but not in His field but in the field of uncertainty.

Now, I'm thinking about that man in the field, the man I felt was for me,

wondering what might have been if I raised my hand the moment I saw him.

Then………

What is the meaning of all my hardship to be successful and wealthy?

I may become the most powerful and successful person on earth

but if I don't have that someone whom will I share my love and

happiness with, then it will not be worth anything.

Para sa ating lahat 'to.

Think about it.

We are not getting any younger.

Explore GOD's field.

I'm sure nanjan lang sha sa tabi-tabi. Maaring in the beginning, in the middle or in the end.

It's for you to find out.

But most importantly, it's for you to choose.

It's a part of the whole concept of love.

It's a risk you have to take, a decision you have to make.

And once you have decided on it, there's no turning back.

Bear in mind that with this comes the courage to raise your hand and declare that you've found your match,

whether you're at the beginning, in the middle or at the end of your journey.

Or else, you'll regret it. At ang huling phase ng lahat ng yan eh ito lang --

once you've raised your hand, go back to God and thank Him. Thank God.


In short, maging kuntento ka sa napili mo.

Ikaw naman ang pumili nyan eh...

Love her/him with all your heart.

Be sincere and true to your feelings.

Don' fool around, baka in the end pagsisihan mo, you'll realize his/her worth pag wala na sya sayo...

All He did was to give you options.

And since He gave you that privilege,

consider it a blessing...

(*_*)

SampipoL

"Sampipol", salitang ginagamit para irelate ang ibang taong hindi mo kilala, hindi mo alam ang pangalan, hindi mo kaanu-ano, wala kang pakielam, hindi mo pa nakikita, hindi mo pa lubos na kilala at kung anu-ano pang pwedeng i-associate sa "Some" (random)

"Sampipol", random people na nakakausap mo, nag-uusap tungkol sayo, at nagkakagulo ng tungkol sayo..wahahah. Pwede rin namang ibang taong madaming angal sa buhay pero ni hindi maipakita ang muka at pangalan nila sa blog nila! Sampipol din yun! Madami syang alam, madaming problema sa mundo, sa buhay niya, pero siguro muka nya problema niya kaya hindi nya maipakita ang muka nya! (bad bad na naman..haha).

"Sampipol" ginagamit ng mga pana para itawag sa mga hindi nila kakilalang mga patan (pakistani) na nilalait nila ng bonggang bongga. Wala nga lang silang ideya na sila rin naman ay nilalait ng mga pakistani pag nakatalikod sila at tinatawag ding "sampipol (with smelly odor)" nyahahha.

"Sampipol" a few random people na naiisip mo pag may nakikita kang nakakaiyak, nakakatuwa, at nakakainis na mga pangyayari sa paligid. Sasabihin mo, "Ay oh, parang Sampipol lang ober there ohh". haha.

"Sampipol" tawag mo sa mga nanligaw sayo nung hayskul ka na hindi mo na maalala ang pangalan kaya nung biglang nag-message sayo sa Friendster, binanatan mo ng reply na "sino po sila?, sampipol ka ba?uhugin ka pa nun ahh..hehehe.

"Sampipol" tawag ng nanay ko sa mga batang naligaw ng landas at umakyat ng ligaw sa aming kubo kahit na wala ako dun. Kausap ko sya kanina, ganito ang banat nya :" jen, may nagpunta dito, sampipol lang, hinahanap ka, bakit daw di ka nagpaalam sakanya". Haha.. adik!

--Paumanhin kung mas malabnaw pa po sa evaporated milk ang takbo ng kwento nitong entry na toh! Wala pa kong matinong naitutulog dahil abala ako sa paggawa ng wala. Hehehe...

Why I'm still single

Nagtaka ka ba sa taytel na nakita mo sa sidebar mo? Oo, yan nga ang taytel ko. Yan ang naiisip ko ng bonggang-bongga nitong mga nakaraang linggo, araw, oras, minuto, at segundo. Lumabnaw ang utak ko dahil masyado akong abala sa pagpapakabusy sa buhay ko. Wala rin akong matinong naitutulog dahil sadyang madamot ang panahon (na bigyan ako ng malalim at matinong tulog). Sya sya, tignan mo na lang ang malagim na listahan ng mga bagay ng dahilanes ko sa buhay kung bakit hanggang ngayon eh single blessedness ako. (Amputek, amoy bitterness na naman!nyahaha)....

1. Masyado na kong nasanay na mamuhay ng single. Wala kang itetext ng minu-minuto, wala kang aalagaan, walang alalahanin, walang kaaway, wala kang tatawagan, wala kang bebeybihin, wala kang kunsumisyon!!!!!(ilang im-paktors lang yan, di ko na iiisa-isahin ang mga bagay na nasa isip ko dahil baka maTO kayo ng bonnga saken at wag nang bumalik dito sa bahay ko!hahaha)

2. Ayoko ng istorbo sa buhay ko. Malinaw na malinaw. Ayoko ng epal na tatawag para lang tanungin kung anung kinain ko, kung tumae na ba (joke), at kung busy o tulog na ba ko. Common sense..anak ng..hehe

3. Tomboy daw ako sabi nung kaibigan ko! Masakit man sa loob ko, madalas eh binabato sken ng mga kaibigan ko itong reason na to. Na kaya daw walang lumalapit saken para (you know na) eh dahil akala nila mas lalaki pa ko sa kanila, which is true. Haha.

4. Hindi ako mahilig makipag-flirt. Inaasar ako ng mga tao sa paligid na lumalandi na daw ako. Tsktsk. Salamat sa pagpapa-alala at pagpuna, pero minsanan lang ako kung kumembot ng bongga, nyahahah, natyempuhan mo lang ako ngayon.

5. Moody ako. Madami akong problema sa sarili ko kaya medyo sarado ang utak ko sa commitment nitong mga nakaraang panahon.

6. Takot ako sa commitment! Natatakot akong seryosohin ng bongga ng magiging bf ko (ip eber) dahil hindi pa ko ready na maging hawswayp!..omaygas!hehe..

7. Strong daw ang personality ko! At dahil jan, natatakot ang mga langgam na lumapit saken. Dahil isa't kalahating pambabalahura lang ang inaabot nila. (Mahangin na ba?haha)

8. Pa-cute lang ako. At hindi dahil kinukulit ko ng minu-minuto ang isang tao, aylaykhimna. Hehe. Minsan, its exactly the opposite.

9. Insensitive ako. Kahit inihahain na ng bonggang bonnga ni guy ang sarili nya saken, pag hindi ko talaga sya feel, deadma ang lola mo! Wahaha.

10. In denial ako. Minsan, or madalas, mahal ko na yung isang tao, denial pa din ako. Kaya kadalasan, nauunahan ako ng salitang "INIP" bago ko marealize ang mga bagay-bagay.

11. Mataray ako. Mas matangkad pa sken ang katarayan na taglay ko. Kaya move over Miriam! Wag mo kong babanggain dahil ayokong makipag-away dito. Haha.

12. Tamad ako. Tamad ako maginvest ng oras, ng pera, at ng kwento. Kaya kung binibigay ko sayo ang alinman dito. Hmmm...nyahaha...

13. Demanding ako. Hindi ako marunong makuntento, period walang erase. Demanding ako sa lahat ng bagay. Parang sirang tamagochi lang eh nho. Nyahaha..

14. Authistic ako. At dahil jan, bibihirang tao lang ang nakakaunawa saken.

15. Matakaw ako. Nakakaturn off yan sa babae alam ko. Wag ka nang pumalag. Just deal with it. Hehe.

16. Immature ako. Hindi ko na siguro kelangan ng paliwanag. All my posts will explain it for me. Nyahaha.

Ayan ang mga kalokohan na naisip ko kaya hindi pa ako binibiyayaan ng makukulit ng bonggang bongga. Hehe. Smile pipol :D

Kailangan pa ba?

Baluktot ang paniniwala ko sa buhay. Oo, kaya nga andito ako sa ibang bansa. Baluktot ako mag-isip. Adik ako, masamang tao, masamang impluwensya sa ibang tao at walang maidudulot na kabutihan sa sambayanan. Isa akong drop out, isa akong tambay. Hindi ako propesyonal na akawntant o inhinyero kaya sinipa ako ng mga magulang ko patungo dito...

Ngunit.........

Sa kabila ng mga pagkukulang ko sa buhay. Marunong akong magmahal at rumespeto ng opinyon ng iba. Kapag hindi ko ito nagustuhan, tahimik lang ako. Pag hindi ko alam ang nangyayari, nagtatanong ako. Pag alam kong may nangangamoy na away, hindi ako kailanman nagiging dahilan upang maging instrumento para magpatuloy pa ang bangayan sa paligid ligid. Hindi ako balimbing, hindi ako sakim. Hindi ako uhaw sa atensyon ng iba. Hindi ko kailanman ninais na gawing kasangkapan ang iba upang ako ay mapansin ng karamihan. Kuntento ako sa maliit kong mundo. Walang away, walang gulo. Welkam ang lahat ng opinyon.

Andito ako para sa PERA,ngunit hindi lang dun nagtatapos ang lahat. Nandito rin ako para sa aking pamilya, para sa kanilang mga pangarap. Nandito ako dahil may dahilan. Nandito ako upang ako ay may matutuhan. Nandito ako hindi para sa pipitsuging Tsokolate. Nandito ako dahil sa pagmamahal ko sa aking pamilya. Nandito ako dahil ginusto ko ito. Nandito ako hindi dahil gusto kong maconsider ng pamahalaan na bayani. Nandito ako dahil sa PAGMAMAHAL at RESPETO ko sa aking pamilya. Dahil marunong akong rumespeto sa damdamin at prinsipyo ng iba.

Ngayon sabihin mo?

Kailangan pa ba na paulit-ulit isa-isahin lahat yan?

Tukmol IV

Wag ka masyado mag-expect.Wala kayong commitment.
Pwede ka magselos, pwede ka magtampo pero hindi ka pwedeng magalit.
Pwedeng makipagdate sa iba, wag ng magpapaalam.
Pwede mo syang lambingin. Pwedeng yakapin…
At pag nalaman mong may bf/gf na sya,
Pwede ka umiyak. Pwede ka masaktan,
Pero hindi mo sya pwedeng sumbatan dahil wala kang karapatan;
Dahil ang M.U. ay isang MAGULONG USAPAN.--Bob Ong

The Art of letting go

It’s over. He’s gone.

Why do we have to part while
the love is still there?
Why do we have to suffer?
Why do we have to cry when
somebody bids goodbye?
Why do beginnings have an end?
Why do we have to meet
only to lose in the end?

There are questions left unanswered,
words left unsaid, letters left unread,
poems left undone, songs left unsung,
love left unexpressed,
promises left unfulfilled.

In a relationship,
one of the hardest things to do
is saying goodbye and letting go.
It is as hard as breaking a crystal
because you’ll never know when you
will be able to pick up the pieces again.
More often than not, they who go,
feel not the pain of parting:
it is they who stay behind that suffer,
because they are left
with memories of a love
that was meant to be,
a love that was.

At the beginning and at the end
of a relationship,
we are embarrassed to find ourselves alone.
Unfair as it may seem,
but that’s the way love goes.
That’s the drama, the bittersweet
and the risk of falling in love.
After all, nothing is constant but change.
Everything will eventually come to its end
without us knowing when,
without us knowing how,
without us even knowing why.
And we must forget not because we have to
but because we have to.

In letting go, sorrows come
not as a single spy but in batallion.
It seems that everywhere you go,
everything you do,
every song you hear,
every turn of your head,
every move of your body,
every beat of your heart,
every blink of your eye and every breath
you take always reminds you of him.
It’s like a stab of a knife,
a torture in the night.
Funny how the whole world
becomes depopulated
when only one person is missing.
Just imagine,
there are billion people on earth
and yet it seems you feel lonely
and empty without the other.

I don’t know if it’s worth calling an art,
but letting go entails
special skills sparkled
with a considerable space and time.
Time heals all wounds but it takes
a little push on our part.
Acceptance plays a part.
Not all love stories end with
"…and they live happily ever after."

Sometimes we have to part because of
circumstances beyond our control.
We have to suffer if it would
mean happiness for others.
We have to cry to
temporarily let go of the pains.
Every beginning has its end
like every dawn has its dusk.
It’s something we can’t control,
something we had to live up.

It’s over.
He’s gone. But life has to go on.
Goodbye doesn’t always mean forever.
There will always be a place and time
where questions will be answered,
words will be spoken,
letters will be read,
poems will be recited in the night,
songs will be sung in harmony,
love will be expressed in solitude and
promises will be fulfilled.
Somewhere. Somehow. Someday.

----isa po itong repost mula sa aking blog sa FS. Sinulat ko sya noong june 2006 after my ex BF broke up with me. Wala lang, i just want to share with you..:D